• Play video games
• Watch our favorite musicals and sing along
• Dance
• Just watch movies
• Go on a walk
• Hang out with John
• Talk about life
• Make out
• Hold hands
• Cuddle
• More cuddling
• Lots of cuddling
• Sexy stuff
• Dinner
• Give him the cards I made
• Be adorably flirtatious
• Not be lonely
• Other things…? 

“What is this nonsense about fursuits!!! You do not own a fursuit. You think ANTHROPOMORPHIC FAUNA are really cute and enchanting and all, but it has never occurred to you to dress as one. Sure, it is fun to imagine what it would be like to run wild with a pack of wolves, or purr and frolic with a litter of kittens, but dressing up as an animal just seems ridiculous. It would still just be a silly girl draped in a raggedy synthetic tufty piece of crap, and seriously who are you trying to kid with that sort of baloney!”
Omg dead 

“What marvelous creatures they are. What a daring dream, to combine the finest qualities of humanity with the elegance and nobility of the animal kingdom. How you wish you could know their world. To hear one night those muted pawpads traipse up your stairs. A low but friendly growl unsettles your slumber, and as the sopor seeps from your eyes they detect a sharp pair of ears cutting moonlight. A mysterious wolven tongue invites. Wouldn’t these ears suit you? Would not this proud long snout assist you in the hunt? ”

I’m dead from laughter. Fuck.
All I can think of is all the furry porn.
Damn you, Homestuck! 

I feel completely empty.

Shower think. About my life as it is now.

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Listening to Emily Brown’s cover of “Asleep”.
I remember only a few months ago, I was listening to this on the park bench. Staring at the sky. Choosing how to kill myself. Justifying why. Feeling no regrets.
I still agree with the reasoning. But… I’m glad I didn’t do it. Life sucks, but there are things that make it worthwhile at this point.
I dunno. Feelings. Thoughts. Whatever. 

Personal blog=no read more.

• My father:

He wants to move again. I’m selfish for not wanting to. I don’t want to because a) I want to not switch schools every year of high school. b) I like my house. c) I like my boyfriend. A lot. So here I am being a selfish asshole because I can’t take another move. I almost committed suicide last time. I still agree with my reasoning behind it to this day. Who knows how bad the next move will be?

• My mother:

I miss the cunt from before shit hit the fan. I miss when she wasn’t Bitch, but Mom. I miss having a mom. I miss having someone I feel comfortable talking about boys with and getting advice on girl shit. I don’t feel comfortable enough to do that with my dad’s girlfriend, even though I fucking love her. I just want my mother back. :/

• School, post-school, and general life:

School. Grading scales. Expectations. We’re being molded into perfect little office-working robots. Don’t wear leggings as pants. Freedom of expression is only good in art classes, which don’t get you anywhere. How do you expect to succeed in the “real world” with that attitude? And, god-forbid, WE MUST HAIL AMURRRRICA! LAND OF FREEDOM!
I’m completely sick of all of it. I want to watch it burn. Little Miss Straight A’s (now a B…) wants to watch this bullshit burn to the ground. This generic brain-washing garbage shouldn’t be what defines me as a person. The D+ I got on my Trig quiz last week shouldn’t have to make me cry. Not taking five credits of math shouldn’t make me questionable as a candidate for college. The way I present myself for my boring-as-fuck lessons shouldn’t define my work ethic. Fuck it all. 
I’m going through this high school hell to “prepare me for the real world”. What the hell is this supposed to be preparing me for? The government entering my vagina because they don’t like the way I choose to treat my body? Relying on welfare and financial aid like my washed-out dad, so I can become a cranky ass like him? Paying taxes for useless wars I disagree with? Tell me, dear high school, what the fuck do you think you can prepare me for? Learning how to convert radians to degrees and moles to grams and war to more war isn’t going to help an art student in her career. It isn’t going to help anyone who isn’t going into a field requiring such things. You’re giving me problem solving techniques? Because there’s no other way to do that? Sure. Maybe. But I’m not quite buying that.
I don’t want to grow up into a world where the government has to scare the shit out of me with every possible decision, I have to exhaust myself to survive, and I do nothing significant but live.
I don’t want to bring a child into this world, either. This is a world where the unfortunate are frowned upon by the mighty-and-whiny; a world where consumerism rules everyday life. I don’t like that, and I don’t see how we as a race can stand it.  
I don’t see what’s worth growing up for. Worth trying for.
Love? Maybe. Love is good, but are we really still capable of affection or compassion?
Change? I don’t think we can change.
We live to work to live to die.
I don’t think I can handle that. 

Lol. I keep hearing Matt’s voice in my head calling me a furry.
Lies. No.
Funny coincidence is funny, though.